he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
