no, he came in my armpit
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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