Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
