we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
