Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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