I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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