tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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