so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
