What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
