So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
