It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
