STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
