sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
