im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
