Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
