And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
