he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
