I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
