just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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