Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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