i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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