I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
