i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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