she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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