you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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