my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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