his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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