Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i think i just lost a toe
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
