Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
