Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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