so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
