Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
