you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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