I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
