i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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