smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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