Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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