her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
