super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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