U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
