Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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