btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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