so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
