he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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