Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
