of course. lets lasso hookers.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
