so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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