Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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