JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
