OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
