This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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