i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize