Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
pray to the hookup gods
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
