Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize