she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
