How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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