Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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