oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize