You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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