Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Randomize
