Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
