i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
