I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
